I promised myself that i would not dwell for too long in the dark corners of the past, at any given time. If you stay in the dark for too long, you start to forget the beauty of the sun’s rays.
Today I am going to look into that light and wrap myself up in its rays. I started this blog a few days ago. For my own reasons, I have chosen to keep my name and my pictures far away. There is gonna be some personal stuff discussed here and until I am fully comfortable, I will keep it that way. Who knows one day soon, I may just be comfortable.
I did however mention it to a small, very tiny circle of supportive friends. People who have proven over the years to hold me strong when my backbone was too weak. Or in their separate way inspire me by their strength and out of the box attitude . Many of them did not know this part of me.
One of them in particular has always believed in me but their encouragement goes beyond basic words, it is a pure energy. Its not just a friendly word or a shoulder to lean on through dark days. Their force is an energy that gives birth to laughter, joy and comfort. Even when I think that I am not doing enough or failing at being a single parent, their words have a way of shaking me and making snap back to reality. Even if that reality isn’t real right now. It is enough of an existence that i can pull myself up and try and try again.
Where some friendships leave you drained and deflated even making you feel the need to change, compromise in little or big ways. This one doesn’t. They already seen the real me at some vulnerable moments. They have heard the laughter and seen the tears. I know i am blessed to have them in my life, for to exist on this planet without hearing a positive voice, can be scary and lonely. Some people experience this energy through a spouse/boyfriend-girlfriend/a sibling/neighbor/coworker/teacher/boss/stranger they meet in a grocery store line. It doesn’t matter where this energy comes from, what matters is that you recognize its force and show appreciation, no matter the source. Then share it to someone else.
My little battery pack/ energy source has already shown me what a difference kind words and support can make. It is now my task to do the same for others. To share encouragement for another person, offer a listening ear. Hopefully some day I can be that energy source for someone.