I recently had a conversation with one of my good friends that left me thinking alot. Though it was the norm for me to think alot after our conversations (I am a thinker), it was not normal for me to give one thought spotlight over the others for a long period of time. I have enough thoughts bouncing around in my head at any one time, to give one thing the lead position.
“I am learning more and more that a lot of the women I have known for years were molested/raped at some point in their youth, that it no longer fully shocks me”, those were the words that stood out the most. I know that he was not referring to it in a casual or joking manner, but as a matter of fact. A fact, that from appearance, left him struggling with the inability to fully comprehend why so many.
Unfortunately yet fortunately, his statement is true. More and more young girls/ women are opening up and stepping out in an attempt to shed the years of shame and wrongly imposed guilt. Their brave voices are shouting through the whispers, to a world and saying that something did happen to them, that it was wrong then and it is still wrong today. The willpower and energy needed to first acknowledge these words, first to themselves and then to others, requires more strength than any super hero can ever possess. Many of them are not trying to seek justice. For there is never any real equitable level of justice large enough to permanently remove the stain from their emotional and physical blankets. Instead many aim for release.
Release from the fear that shadows them throughout their days. Release from the all so familiar questions rotating in their minds asking, Why me, What if, What did I do, When will it end. Release is also sought from the rage. The ever flowing venom that lays below their surface for not only the true offenders, but for those who resemble the guilty in their shape, words and deeds. For some, this release opens up the imprisonment of a life that craves to actually live, to dream and feel free to love again.
Unfortunately many will never realize the end of their mental confinement, for the ones entrusted to strengthen and sustain, have reversed judgment. Instead they have taken the roles of prison guards, holding them chained to a crime that they did not commit.” You were asking for it”, “You always liked too much boys” or “Shouldn’t you be over this, it has been years”, “Don’t go and dirty the family name with this foolishness from so long ago”, “You think you are the only person this has ever happened to” and finally “You can’t say anything about it, you will be hurting too much people.
These are just a few of the things whispered by the wardens in an effort to silence them as the inmates scream for release from their sentence. For within that silence, families and communities are allowed to retain their pure and pristine image of perfection. And as this cycles continue, for each young girl/woman released from confinement, another inmate joins the confinement to suffer in the solitude of her dark past, not yet strong enough to face the wardens and the fight.