A Letter to the Ladies/Queens

February 5, 2015

Dear Ladies/Queens,

(To Whom It May Concern, just wasn’t personal enough)

Last week I wrote a short entry on this blog about a conversation I had with my daughter, when she asked me “Am I Pretty Mommy”. I actually thought that this was all I would have to say on this matter. But life doesn’t always go as planned. Recent encounters with some wonderful women (in person and via social media) showed me that a few of us, are still carrying some emotional scars that are blurring our vision.

Lady, you need to break open your eyes. I have seen your tears, I have heard your whimpers. The scars that remain from your battles have grown too thick for your eyes, enclosing them with fear. The shackles from society’s lies have kept you captive for too long. Who was the person who told you that something was wrong with you? Who was the one to tell you that what your creator created was flawed? And forgive me, but what gave you the motivation to believe them?

I understand that as a child you heard the whispers saying that you were too thick, too dark, too short, too light, too skinny and too tall. But whispers are just the voices of collective fears, too complacent to face their own imperfections. It is time lady that you peel back the scars and take a fresh look at who you are.

I know you may be saying easier said than done, so I am going to volunteer my scarred eyes to join the process with you. Get up and let’s go. Walk into that bedroom and take the layers of makeup off, peel away the uncomfortable clothing. You and I know that you wear them as a reflective shield; not allowing others to see the real you. (This of course does not have to include your Spanx. Hey I am sorry but every woman, no matter her size loves her Spanx. Im just saying).

Now breathe in slowly, and take a look into that mirror. Don’t just take quick glances. We are gonna be here for a while. Jump in front of it, and stare that woman down. She is you.

She is the one who gets up every day. She is the one who faces every obstacle, with the stubborn defiance that she will not give in today. She is the one who painfully birthed those babies. She is the one who unselfishly loved that man. She is the one who cared for her ungrateful family, while forgetting to care for herself. The sickness, though it slowed her down did not break her. She is the Alpha solider, procrastinating gladiator, compliant listener, and attitude songster. She is who she was meant to be.

Now look deep into that mirror. Look into her scar touched eyes and tell her that deep down, all this time, you never thought that she was good enough. Let her know that you believed the venomous whispers that called her ugly. Tell her the truth that you were ashamed of her and because of that shame, you never fully accepted her as any part of you.

Give her a moment to shed her tears. Give yourself a moment to release your fears. Inhale her strength as you let your shaking hand reach out to her. Promise her that you will never again allow someone else’s opinion of her to break your bond. Promise her that you will never let negative energy destroy your dreams. Look at her and tell her the truth. That she is beautiful, and yes she is more than good enough.

P.S. Don’t forget to tell her to smile.

Your Friend,

Phoenix

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