I Cried this morning.
While my kids showered and prepared for school, I Cried. When I tried to figure out what child approved, yet tasty lunch to make for their lunch kits, I Cried. When they left for school as I tried to get dress for work, I Cried.
I am not sure what exactly triggered off this batch of tears, earlier in the morning I remember reading one of my favorite parenting blogs, I remember feeling the words of the blogger as she described how tired she was feeling and I connected with her exhaustion. Btw, please take a moment to read her blog https://notthecrazyexwife.wordpress.com/2015/06/04/nothing-like/ ; she has an honest and beautiful way of expressing her thoughts and I consider her a must read. Her blog said it all so I don’t need to even try to add much to what was said.
Her post made me think of my own situation and how much I too was just tired, and had experienced countless unplanned, couldn’t expect, out of the blue, mishaps and moments. I am not saying there are not beautiful parenting moments that make you smile and know that it is all worth it in the end. I mean in just one morning, all before my morning peppermint tea, I cried, smiled and even laughed. No I do not have multiple personalities, I couldn’t afford them even if I wanted them. But sometimes you have to smile at the little things, and if you do it enough laughter will follow. Plus my daughters make it impossible not to laugh every day, and I will always be thankful for the joy that they bring. Even if I am covered with vomit from a sick child late, late at night or up late trying to find ointment for my burnt knee where hot glue fell.
But one thing does touch a nerve, those “loving” people even strangers who think that it is their God given right to tell parents that they shouldn’t be overwhelmed and that parenting is some kind of fairy tale and we should all dance around like fairies. Well guess what I don’t remember any freaking fairytale where there wasn’t some form of drama, pain, lost shoes, food poisoning, even tears. Cinderella only had mouse as friends and was a house slave to her family, Snow White cleaned and fed a bunch of short men, even Rapunzel was kidnapped and left to live by herself…..Now you think about it… single parenting does resemble a lot of fairytales. I take back my previous rant.
I know many two parent families who are struggling to stay sane as they provide, raise and care for their children, so can you imagine those of us doing it alone. Do you then think it is right to judge, piss off a single parent (mother of father, I know them all), accusing them of not finding balance, not having priorities, not being focused. Our focus is and will always be our children. When you go to sleep at night your body and brain sleeps. When we go to sleep, the body lays down, but the brain is working on our budget to make sure that we have enough for the field trips, summer camps, new school clothes and summer books (my kids’ loveeeeeee to read). We think about how we are going to balance our careers, deadlines and still make it to all the school events. Our ears listen to the quietness of the apartment/house and with bionic ears, we hear the soft cough from our daughter’s bedroom, knowing that may be a sign to go grab the asthma pump. Our hearts ache for our children knowing their fears and their own dreams, and hope that we can be there to guide them and protect them with each step along the way. Yet you wonder why there are dark circles under our eyes, when you wake up looking refreshed and renewed, while our look consists of a smile.
But unlike the fairytales there is no fairy godmother, we can’t click our heels three times and there sure is no prince running in to kiss, climb a wall, or put the glass shoe on our swollen feet. HAHAHA I dare a prince to try, If he can help with school projects, motivate a child, listen to them practice their musical instrument and help with laundry all at the same time; then he needs to send in his application, a copy of his police record, mental examination record, ten reference letters, FBI report, oh and a physical examination report (you have to be strong physically to be a prince).
So today, be kind, have a heart and don’t judge or get on anyone’s nerves today. Try to remember that the person you might be pissing off may have had a tear filled night or morning, and you may just step on the last nerve that she keeps on reserve for emergencies.