Disclaimer: Today I did not write how I feel, I filtered it, and then I put it in the sun, then I filtered my words again. This means that my thoughts may not always run together as smooth, but filtering does that sometimes. There will be times when I have to do this . I know the power of words and how they can create their own life force, so sometimes I have to be the responsible person and say things softly.
It is so easy for us to call the plumber, carpenter, fireman, doctor, police, even the veterinarians have 24 hour service. But yet we are afraid and even punished, for reaching out for help for our emotional and mental problems. Why is there this crippling fear of revealing that we are not perfect, that there is something unbalanced in our lives that we are unable to fix or manage alone? The words within anthems and slogans of so many countries/communities suggest that we are one people, or suggests in their lyrics that we stand taller united. But are those words just decorative ideologies that were never designed to become reality, just chosen for their rhythmic placement and not their meaning?
Are we really one people and what does that represent? Does it mean that we have to present a united perfected front, where we have no holes or breaks in the system? Shouldn’t this suggest that no matter the problem or flaw that we would come together as one and help each other? In my opinion, to be considered as One whether a family or community it should really mean that I have your back and you have mine, together we can make it, together we will be okay. It shouldn’t force people into pre designed shapes and sizes with no way out. It should not whisper that any rebellion to the status quo would result in total abandonment and confinement.
So instead of rebelling we keep our secrets hidden under our kitchen floors or locked away in the family emotional basements, away from the world? Fearing that their revelation would result in hurricane force winds capable of ripping away the masks of perfection and happiness; masks deemed mandatory by our society. It is unfair for us to expect such perfection of others, and even of ourselves. The last and only person to walk on this earth was whipped and hung on a cross, yet we whip and crucify others for showing their imperfections….hypocritical aren’t we.
We tell our children to always tell the truth, no matter what. But when their young lips open to reveal the family secrets, they are punished and silenced into shame. How can they reveal that mommy is abused and always drunk, that daddy sleeps with Uncle Fred and Uncle Sam and Cousin Jenny? Or that at nights when the world is asleep her picture perfect, protective relative creeps into her bed, destroying her innocence as she stifles back her tears. So instead we stifle them, reminding them that family business is family business, that we should never betray the family; and loyalty comes first. So the kids choke back their tears, while mom covers her bruises, dad takes one last sip, as they make their way through the front door shining with perfection.
People especially children should be free to take off their masks of perfection and seek help, they should be allowed to reach out to someone and say “Help me please”. To be our brother’s keeper should not mean that we keep our nose in the latest gossip on who wear what, when and with whom. Instead we should be observant of our neighbor’s child who always seem a bit too bruised. The quiet wife who never raises her eyes in a conversation. The loneliness in our elderly neighbor’s smile. Our arms should always suggest our willingness to hold and protect, while our eyes should say that I am here whenever you need me. Maybe then we can really be united, maybe then we won’t be afraid to say hello, I need help.