When it just does not feel RIGHT

We all know of people who appear to have blessed lives, where they grow up in beautiful families, meet wonderful people and have extraordinary experiences. But life is not always a fairytale and maybe this is just the image that they portray to the public, and all of the dirty stuff is edited out.

What we tend not to see, or try to see, are the periods where their ‘support’ circle is not as stable or supportive as we may believe. In many cases it is this very structure or lack of, that drives many individuals to depend on themselves and the universe for sanity. The images that are portrayed on social media are mostly photo shopped images of what society may think is best. Thus Facebook and Instagram likes have become our daily goals as we endeavor to replicate the “reality” of our decapitated society. realitySadly this present ideology continues to build the foundation of false self-esteem and self-hate; for no one dares to truly display the reality that some days are hard, and other days can be even harder and unbearable. To the point that not even the hours of sleep are capable of rescuing us from life’s truth.

The idea would be ridiculed if not lynched at the root if anyone were to express dissatisfaction with the status quo; for in doing so it can shed direct light onto the cracked scars in others, and cause a collapse to the way of thought and identity.

I have personally had the pleasure/displeasure of knowing that my way of thinking bothers other people, to the point that they find it insulting for me to not conform. My crazy ideology of not being satisfied in just breathing but in wanting to find purpose, seems to rattle a few feathers. My thoughts, that tend to sometimes print right on my face just does not conform, and guess what I hope it never does.

Tonight during one of my cup refilling nights (I suggest everyone has a moment they detach and refill their own energy) I watched a movie where a woman’s family stood as her spiked cage. Members of her family in their direct and indirect way suffocated and blocked her from reaching her destiny. membersHer environment and financial limitations also played a strong supportive role in directing her to failure and keeping her off balanced.

But this movie was not depressing, it was a raw glimpse into reality. For what I did take from the movie was that the universe, no matter what was happening to her and how low and broken she got, she never allowed her to feel comfortable with staying down and conforming. Even when everyone else around her felt more comfortable with her being down- in their supporting way, she just couldn’t accept that her reality was her destiny. Yes she broke down, and many times she cried, screamed and even broke into a rage (personally I believe that we sometimes want to keep everyone and everything around us calm, that we hold so much in that its necessary to scream and cry- sometimes it’s the only way the universe can hear our voice).

I wonder how many of us live similar lives to this character. How many of us are surrounded by people who have accepted the roles that society has dished out and who try to break us into the pre-described molds. Are we haunted with dreams/nightmares where we keep reaching out to a hidden image of ourselves, slightly out of reach, but blocked by negative energy, limitations and our own fears? I think that the path to self-discovery is not always paved with roses, sometimes there are boulders and detours along the way. There will be many times when we ourselves are not sure on what the final destination may be, all we may know is that we definitely just don’t belong in the place, position, relationship, career, country, house, friendship, you name it…it just does not feel right.

Don’t suffocate that dreamer within yourself, don’t let that voice be silenced. Sometimes the only person who is going to believe in you-is you. But do know that once you find that purpose within, that the universe will bend and align for you.

1 Comment

  1. Where is the love it button? Fortunately for me, I have one person in my circle who is “unconventional” and he has reminded me that many may not understand the beat of my drum, but it’s not their march, it’s not their dance,so beat the drum for myself. It should not be my concern if “they” don’t understand.

Leave a Reply