Disclaimer: I am typing with one hand; as my daughter apparently needs the other hand to sleep through the flu. As I said in the previous post, we all play various roles and many of those roles have to be played at the same time. So don’t fuss too much if you see spelling errors and kindergarten grammar. I am trying my best.
So yesterday I ran through the roles we play for others and questioned the roles we play for ourselves. That post seem to touch a few nerve endings for a few people, but don’t worry it touches mines too. I would love to say that my blog is fictional and I pull fictional characters and fictional inspiration from the world around me. But at the end of the day, I tend to write about what I am going through or what I have been touched by, due to close observation.
I started thinking about the roles/characters that we play in our lives and tried to compare them to what we play for others. Somehow there always appears to be some disconnect between the two and the discrepancy didn’t seem to reconcile as we grow older, but instead grow wider. I thought I could do this in one or two posts, but after reading and listening to my own voice and those of a few readers who contacted me; I realized that this is bigger than me and is going to require posting every day this week.
I will take a look at the roles, each day looking at the necessary roles that I have noticed that we forget to play for our own lives and even worst, the roles that we need to stop playing all together. Here goes…..
Cheerleader (A necessary role)
Now I am not suggesting that you wear little cheerleader outfits, then again maybe I am. What is so wrong with getting a homemade or special order cheerleading outfit with personal pompoms and cheer for yourself in the mirror? I am so serious, why can we easily get all dressed up for sports teams, buying all the replica uniforms and paraphernalia for teams that don’t even know our names, or even our bank account numbers to make some kind of deposit; yet find it difficult in cheering ourselves on. We need to start being our own personal cheer squad. Even if we have to go into the bathroom and look in the mirror and sing an encouraging chant for ourselves as we face the new day. We can start by cheering ourselves on when we accomplish personal goals, even if that goal is just keeping quiet when faced with conflict….if you are anything like me, this is a real accomplishment. Congratulate yourself for making a wonderful dinner, for acing that assignment, for getting the kids to school clean, happy and fed. Congratulate yourself. You know it more than anyone else what battles you face internally and externally, so there should more than enough reasons for you to do your own cartwheel and chant your own name. Stop being so quick to send words and screams of encouragement for complete strangers, when you have never patted your own self on the back for all that you have achieved in your own life.
Judge, Jury and Executioner (Dump this role)
Who made you the wisest person that ever lived, and who decided that you had to be perfect in everything that you did and said, every moment of the day? Unless angels came from heaven and told you that you are not human and that in being super human- perfection was to be expected daily. Guess what, you are stuck in your imperfect human form just like the rest of us. Stop being so mean to yourself, yes it is that simple. Society does the job of judging us pretty well and does not need your help. Questioning every decision you have made in the past, and performing your own guillotine does not make any sense. This role keeps you from trying, it keeps you from reaching out to your own destiny. It develops fear, a fear that you may not be good enough, that you may not be smart enough, hold enough finances or have the right support system. So driven by fear, you pre analyze the situation and condemn yourself to being guilty and unworthy, and remain stagnant without the necessary change. You need to walk away from that role, take the judge’s robe off and accept that you are not your past, you are not your environment. Instead start seeing yourself as (fill in your name)….. and say to yourself that “I will no longer judge myself or punish myself for the past, no matter what it may have been (I/name )..am greater than all of my silenced dreams and I will allow myself to dream and set goals free of judgment.
Part THREE coming tomorrow