When I was a little girl I came to the realization that, even though there may have been times my imaginary wings felt broken as I played, I was only human [though some of my very close friends to this day think that I am a unicorn].
With the understanding that I will never be supernatural or perfect, I decided to focus on just being me. Am I a work in progress…oh yes, I most surely am! I think I will always be a work in progress, as life itself is a learning process. There will be moments when I stumble and days when I may fall. And if you have read my blog, you will see that there were seasons I jumped off a few cliffs, fell on the ground, rolled in the mud and laid there just dwelling in my own filth. This is why I can say with a straight face that, if I ever try and act like I am too sanctified and holy, please feel free to walk up to me and gently remind me to act right.
Wait…let me put a big disclaimer here for anyone getting ready to stampede at me or run up on some of the people you ‘once’ knew: There is a big difference between a person trying to live a better life and them acting fake, like they never walked a path or knew where the path was located.
If you see someone trying to be a better person, let them. Don’t tell them that they are not worth anything, that they have changed and you know they will fall again. Even if they fall and get back up, that is their lane and their path. Don’t play reminiscing games on them when you know deep down that you are really upset with yourself, because you can’t understand why they were trying to be better as they work to mend their broken wings and pick up their pieces. All the while, you appear very comfortable rolling around in the mud and competing for mud pies…again, I have digressed…if digression was a sport I would win Olympic gold medals in every competition.
The thing is…everyone is a work in progress. We are all made up of mosaic pieces, formed through the breaking and shattering of what we thought or believed to be whole. We have the tendency to over-examine and over analyze each individual sliver, an exercise that culminates in the belief that we are nothing more than just worthless broken shards. But…guess what…that is not the end; we are merely unfinished. When our jagged fragments are rearranged with a new vision, and recombined with the faith that the Binding Agent is going to mold and cement them together¾making them stronger than ever before, this is when we come to the realization that we are continuously evolving into works of art, and that we are more exquisite than anything that could be found in any museum.
So yes, you may have parts of you that you are still working on parts you may not be proud of, and that is okay, once you can acknowledge these pieces and work towards being a better person. The thing is…everyone has those pieces. Many of us show them on our chest, while others wear them like accessories that are changed every day. Some people keep them at home out of public view, in the family room where only close relatives can see. Then there are those individuals who conceal their regurgitated pieces in golden boxes, hidden in their closets or under their beds, away from everyone’s view, even themselves. This leads them down the path of thinking that they are perfect and they start looking down their noses at the ones who are brave enough to show their flaws.
Personally, I have many mosaic pieces that I am still working on; parts of myself that still need to be buffed and shined to remove my mess. For example, I am the type of person who must bite my tongue every day [yes this is a daily battle] to keep myself from telling people what I really think, in fear that it would be the thing that makes me cross back over to the old me. You see…there is a point when ignorance and foolishness touch on my reserved last nerve. This is the nerve I keep hidden because I know that, back in the day, I had an imbalance with the way I lashed out with my words, it didn’t take much for the verbal venom to rise, and logic and sense to plummet. Which makes no real sense, because even with my tongue tied down and my lips glued shut, my big eyes jump into the conversation and apprise everybody within twenty feet of exactly what I am thinking and how deeply I am thinking it! Today I try to use that same tongue and gift with words, not to attack or break people down, but to lift them up. But, as I said, I am a work in progress.
The point is…no matter your faith, your belief system, or your own spiritual relationship…you are not broken…you are not unworthy…you are not too late…your journey is just on time. You are a unique masterpiece designed to take all the parts of the person you are now, and be molded and formed into the person you will be. Take a look at yourself. No, not with the camera on your phone, but take an internal look at who you are. Look at where you were and where you are now. Some of you may think that you look worse today than yesterday. But you are exactly where you need to be to take the steps that you need to take to move towards your lane. Your reality is not going to look like everyone else’s; it does not make you any worse or better than anyone else; it just makes you…you. Priceless!