children,  encouragement,  growth,  lessons,  Uncategorized

Report Cards

So as a few of you may have known, I have had a few life changes over the past few months. This is, of course, no excuse for me not blogging for over two months. But even I have superwoman limitations and as much as I wanted to write, I just didn’t have enough energy to share with any other aspect. Plus, I have always tried my best not to write too much crap, but to write something of worth and not just tie together worthless words in pretty sentences and call it a blog post. I think that the people who take time out of their already busy schedules to read my blog deserve quality, even if at times that may mean reduced quantity. Nonetheless, I’m good now and I don’t expect to have any more major life changes any time soon. [Forgive my bad manners, I just realized that I have not mentioned what any of these changes were. Let’s see if I can summarize them for you (as each one is a book in itself). So…I resigned my job…relocated to a new country…married my soul mate…Yeah, I think that sums it up in a few words; but don’t worry more details will come later. Well…maybe…]

Now that we have gotten all of that out of the way, lets focus on today’s post. While packing and preparing for the move. [I should let you know that my technique to taking stress out of the moving and packing process is to throw away all the crap that does not make sense and won’t be needed in the future steps of my life.] I came across old report cards for my daughters and even one from my mother’s elementary school days. Macro shot of A- on white results sheet. Extremely shallow focus.For some reason, I thought it necessary to reexamine each one, not just the grades that each of them received, but my emphasis was on the remarks made by each teacher, guidance counselor and principal. These papers/booklets summed up the opinions of those ‘learned’ and ‘observant’ individuals as they judged and analyzed each one, comparing their efforts against others while simultaneously predicting their future path.

Being the mom of these two children and the daughter of my mother, I admit to being fully biased in my examination. Nonetheless, especially in the cases of my daughters, I found some of the reports had large areas where the remarks were just…full of crap and limiting in the way each student was viewed. teacherNow, I am not trying to be disapproving of teachers. I accept and admit that teaching is one of the hardest and unappreciated jobs on the planet. They are underpaid and don’t receive the resources they need to prepare our young for the future. Again, that is not my focus here. But based on the remarks, if each student decided to take it to heart, they would have altered their entire being to fit into what was considered the acceptable way of learning and behavior, not considering that each one was their own individual and had their own personalities and future goals.

These report cards and their ‘interesting’ remarks did provoke a lot of thought as to how other individuals take valuable time out of their day to assess and judge where they think others should be and what they think you should be doing. Most of the times, these critical remarks are made as people compare your actions and way of thinking to what they think they would have personally done (if they were you) and where they would have been in life (if they were you). I am not innocent when it comes to criticizing while observing people and wondering what they were really thinking when they do what I would term as nonsense.

judgeBut the thing is, at the end of the day unless you are my children, everyone’s actions will result in consequences that you alone will have to carry. Thus, I have no real right to judge and condemn anyone who does not directly affect my household. And I have no right to try to manipulate or direct their future.

I don’t think it is right for me or anyone to make the decision on if someone’s past performance in one area of their life should be a decisive and defining factor when it comes to determining their future. Who are we to say that their past results may not have been based on motivational factors and surroundings. A prime example of this is in my youngest daughter’s new fascination in playing sports. Now, this child hated to even take part in PE. However, she has recently developed a greater confidence in her ability and a joy in participating in these activities. If she were to have listened to what others had said and allowed her past results, in combination with their judgmental words, to direct her actions, she would remain in a very small box. boxWhenever any of us allow our past results and the judgments of others to direct our actions, then we pin ourselves in a very small box. I think there is a great gift inside everyone reading these words, and I believe that we have each been given seeds within us, that when nurtured and allowed to grow into their natural destiny will achieve wonderful things. Somewhere along the way, we must take all the restrictive chatter and opinions from others, with their misinformed need to manipulate and control, and close the report cards.

For us to really achieve what our destinies have written for us, we must look towards God and listen only to his voice. I mean think about it, if Joseph only listened to his brothers’ words that he wouldn’t be anything, he would have been satisfied with just being a slave. Instead, no matter how dark his surroundings may have been; he kept doing his best with his eyes focused on his future. puppetIt’s actually a little hilarious when you think about it for God only gave us one life, and if he wanted us to just live our lives based on the directions and opinions of others, he would have created us with puppet strings for others to pull on to lead us. But he didn’t. So, I guess he wants us to look to him for direction and not limit ourselves with what others see in us, but what he has created in us. Now if you still have a problem with His design, you are free to take it up with Creator when you walk up into heaven [if I was you, I would keep my mouth shut].

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