Starting over hurts…. moving on hurts…letting go hurts…growing hurts. To tell you that these periods in life will be fun-filled with colorful rainbows and fairy dust is to lie to you, and personally I prefer not to lie so early in the morning. In fact, I would rather rip the bandage off right now and let you know that change requires transparency, uncomfortable anguish and, in the beginning, you may even feel like you are going backward instead of forward. Great! Now that we have all the misconception out of the way, we can now take a truthful look at how we can better prepare for the starting/moving/growing/letting go periods, or what I generally like to refer to as: our personal construction sites.
Having been through many of these sites myself [I am experiencing one now], I know how painful they are—and at no time did I ever uncover any unicorns or pixie dust. What I did reveal, typically at the end, was that each one was a necessary and strenuous undertaking needed for me to grow. The construction process, just as on any physical locale, can sometimes get very messy, leaving you with moments of defeat and discomfort. Dismantling the façade, which may have looked good on the outside but served no real positive purpose, is often an important step in the transition to building up and moving forward. From a spectator’s standpoint it may not hold much logic, but like everything in life, you have to live for you and not for the opinions of others. Only the person on the inside will ever know the truth of where their dreams truly lie and what particular changes have to be made to make their vision come true.
This brings me to my first point…during your rebuilding/construction/development stages, surround yourself with people who actually want to see you do well. Those persons who want to cover you in prayer, encourage, invest in and stand as a protective wall for you. Do note that these types of individuals are few in numbers, so hold on to them if you are blessed to have them in your life. They may come in the form of a stranger, neighbor or Facebook friend—always remember that angels and messengers can take a variety of forms and, as such, they may not always agree with you. But that is okay. Having people who only say “Yes” to everything you do is just as dangerous as those who will always tell you “No” and limit you. You need honest individuals who see you for you [they see your truth] and not merely how they think you should be; a limited few who are willing to audit and keep you transparent throughout the chaotic layers of change.
It should also be noted that growth isn’t perfect and there is a strong likelihood that chaos will occur. I don’t know about you, but I have never walked onto any physical construction site to find perfection. Structures are being pulled down, debris are being thrown away, new materials are being configured, and nothing happens with the proper support and tools to accomplish the various tasks. Your life will also, on some days, resemble a construction site and if you are unable to make the necessary and sometimes painful changes, your progress and development will stagnate. If you retracted from the discomfort each time you were stretched, how will you grow? If you resisted change in fear of losing yourself, how will you evolve? If you shunned new ideas and viewpoints, how will you learn?
When we were little kids, we were taught to write using crayons, then pencils, and eventually the pencils were replaced by pens. Refusing to let go of the past out of fear of the unknown hinders advancement. This not only limits us, but it also affects everyone connected to us and those whose lives we will impact in the future. There is great potential within you, but you won’t get to see it until you tear down the walls restricting your full capabilities. Whether the walls represent other people’s opinions, the fear of rejection, the fear of being alone, the fear of failure [or all of them combined], you are going to have to take each brick down in order to unblock and reveal your complete gamut of gifts and talents.
Fortunately, our periods of construction are not limited to our youth and can appear at various times throughout our life. However, they may pick the most inopportune timing and the most uncomfortable ways to manifest themselves [trust me, I know from experience]. Nonetheless, if you are able to positively view and embrace these instances, you will be able to achieve a new level, where you thrive and flourish no matter what life throws at you.
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