Being Her: Early Disclaimer Some May Be Offended By This Post

Writing this blog post took more than a minute as I have battled with the topic over and over for a few days. And trust me I have tried to find a way to write it that would be all rainbows and fairy dust. But being someone who tries to encourage everyone around me, I found it hard to write a blog post on a topic that I personally couldn’t suggest a concrete solution for. You see it is 2019 and, in a few days, we will be celebrating International Women’s day on the 8th of March. But there are still some aspects to being a woman that still requires a lot of work. Now, remember I have three daughters and I even though I can tell them that being a woman is a wonderful thing. Raising them to be strong, intelligent women and telling them that they can do anything in the world [though true] can be a bit misleading. And I cannot lie to them and say that being a woman is going to be an easy thing.

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The truth is, that even though they like will always remain queens in my eyes, there are still men and even some of their own womankind who will not respect all of their decisions in life.  You see even in the midst of the MeToo movement and after all of the other advancements that have occurred worldwide to benefit women, there are still many ways in which we have not developed as a people. The archaic mindset in the way a woman’s opinion and decisions for her life are not as respected is still in play.

Today’s woman still has to hear unwanted opinions on her choice of career and dress. She has to hear the voices of people who find it alarming when a woman decides to focus either on her career or being a working mom…funny enough they are still many who pressure the women who choose to stay at home to take care of their families. This leaves a woman in a tailspin where no matter her choice [a choice for her own life] feeling insufficient and unable to please the people around her.

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My daughters like many other women may have to also face the pressure from premature men who have not developed the ego development where they can receive a No from a woman. Please note that I am in no way bashing men, as this is not just a fault of some men but of society itself. Where society has taught men to be hunters and to go after everything that they need – women are left seen as prey where a few men feel that it is their birthright to pursue and get any woman that he wants. This birthright does not take into account the fact that the woman may not be interested in him or feel the need to be constantly pursued by him to the point that she ends up feeling disrespected and pressured.

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Women to this day are still receiving pressure when they are first told by their families and then by communities that boys will be boys/men will be men, and that they should turn a blind eye to the indiscretions of their partners for the sake of the family reputations. They are no longer allowing their “love” to bully them into living a life less than what they deserve.

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And unfortunately, even in 2019, there is still ongoing pressure to accept the bare minimum from possible suitors. Women of various ages are told to settle out of the fear of being alone. They are encouraged to accept suitors who have no intentions of committing to long term relationships just so that they can at least have options. This has left the standards very low for how a woman should be treated and leaving suitors with a feeling of entitlement where they think a woman should be appreciative of what little they do get.

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So as we approach International Women’s Day I have to tell my daughters that yes celebrate the day, in fact, celebrate being a woman every day. Keep being you, Keep going after your dreams whether they are traditional are not…they are yours to live out. Love who you want to love but make sure you love them because you want to and because they love you too. Know that as much as I would love to wave a magic wand and make people behave, I do not have that power. But just because people may doubt and question you, know that I love you and I believe that you and every woman have the power within you to change the world within you and in time the world around you.

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