Having to go at it alone is not a new topic for us at Uncaged Phoenix. Over the years, we have spoken to many subscribers, clients and mentees who have frequently indicated how the lack of support from others often left them with a crushing feeling of being alone and incapable of moving forward. I would love to tell you that I was able to give them some magical words of advice and encouragement that made all of their loneliness and shortcomings fall away. But that is not the case. This is the real world, and though we may think that you are great and your purpose in life is worthy, many people will not have the same opinion. Not only will they not agree with your journey, they may even try to sabotage it and discourage you from ever stepping forward.
Popular culture likes to refer to such individuals as ‘Haters.’ But the truth is many of them are not strangers lurking on the internet or outsiders waiting for an opportunity to pounce. In fact, a lot of these persons are somewhat well-meaning people who make up your innermost circle, with whom you often break bread, and some of them may even share part of your DNA. Though I still do support and believe in blocking and deleting individuals who choose to create negative energy or obstacles along one’s path, I can acknowledge that this process can get somewhat messy and uncomfortable when the unsupportive person is someone who you share history or family ties with. Here are my thoughts on the matter and a few tips you can take into consideration if you are ever placed in this unfortunate predicament.
Be Proud of Your Uniqueness – It is okay to be different. You and your ‘non-supporters’ could have developed in the same womb—even at the same time—but it does not mean that you have to look or be identical in everything and share common goals. Be comfortable with being the odd one. See it as a complement when you are told that you are weird or different from everyone else. It may sting at first, but as you grow more and more into your calling, you will realize it is actually a blessing to be the odd one. The odd ones are normally those who are willing to make the sacrifices that no one else would. They are the anomalies who will nurse their wounds, then get up and try again. So, wear your oddness, peculiarity, weirdness, and strangeness with pride!
Some persons may never understand or support your goals. It does not mean that you have to completely remove them from your life at this time; it just means that you may not be able to share your goals and plans with them. People who do not support you or who—in their own way—try to manipulate, compete against or sabotage you, should not get a sneak peek into your strategy. Would Batman tell the Joker of his plans on how to protect Gotham city? No! And note, I am not calling your family members, friends, or coworkers jokers. I am, however, suggesting that you keep your plans to yourself and only share them with those individuals who can appreciate your vision or help you get closer to your objectives. Yes, having to compartmentalize your dreams and aspirations is not fair, and I understand how difficult this may be at first. Nonetheless, unless you are in a position where you can block and delete their negativity from your life and ambitions, then it is best to keep them at a distance in regards to your goals and just let them continue referring to you as the odd one.
Be Okay with Being You and Finding You by Yourself – In the ideal world you would receive a vision, set out your targets and strategy, and begin moving towards your personal, financial, or business goals. I repeat, this is what happens in the ideal world. In the ideal situation you would receive tons of support and resources, and you would feel blessed to have the people around you to hold you accountable and support you on your journey. Again, this would be the ideal situation.
Now in reality, your vision for your future may have come after a few failed experiences. It may have taken you a while to set out some goals or to believe in yourself enough to strategize your next steps. And where you may have expected a cheerleading squad, you were greeted with crickets and empty seats. This is the reality that many people face. It does not mean that your dreams and your purpose is worthless. What it simply suggests is that for a period or two in your life, you will have to do it alone. Being on your own does not imply that no one is there. You may be surrounded by crowds of people and still feel lonely. Coming to terms with the fact that you may be travelling your path to growth unaccompanied is daunting. Operating in solitary all of the time is not a fate anyone really wants. Having someone you can share ideas with, be encouraged by, and pull inspiration from is always desired, even though it is not always what we immediately receive.
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Book Club Choice For September
BOOK SUMMARY Unemployed with two mouths to feed, twenty-four-year-old Kayla Jackson is feeling the heat on St. Croix, U.S. Virgin Islands. Her ex-boyfriend, Omari, has no intention of supporting their two children; and her mother, Margo, along with the government, has made it clear that Kayla has to stand on her own two feet.
Overwhelmed, but hopeful, Kayla desperately seeks employment. As she heads for her job interview, she cannot avoid Omari who is always seated on the dirty steps outside the depressing buildings where they live. Even so, Kayla is determined to ignore Omari’s advances and any other obstacle in her way just for the opportunity to achieve her goals.
Right at the moment when Kayla is finally finding her way, she crosses path with Richard Patterson, a white businessman who is worlds apart from the life she knows. Will this chance meeting stand in the way of Kayla’s moment of recognition and result in her losing what she’s worked so hard to regain?
Kayla’s story teaches us that we can believe in happy endings and in our ability to overcome challenges and obstacles as we try to pursue our dreams! Trade Winds of the Heart takes readers on a journey that goes far beyond the beaches and straight into the hearts and homes of people who learned that sometimes our own presumptions can keep us back from experiencing happiness. See the benefits of fast-forwarding to the future and visualizing the consequences of our actions. Appreciate how much control we have over the outcome.
“A thoroughly enjoyable and heartwarming read! You will love the wonderful, often humorous glimpse into Crucian life, and come away more appreciative of the persistent challenges and troubles that exist today, even in paradise. Along the way, you will have the pleasure of meeting many colorful, memorable, and courageous characters!”–Editorial Review